During one my From Woe to WOW: How Resilient Women Succeed at Work author chats I had some, what I believe, were stress relieving encounters:
One:
A petite, pale and open faced woman approached the book display and began pouring out her story, “I think I’m resilient. This is the fifth time I have faced cancer. I am in Calgary for my chemo-therapy session.” She talked about her supportive friend and her loving husband. I asked if she would like a hug. Our hug was as tight as her tears were loose. I told her a little bit about our dear daughter-in-law’s fatal struggle with breast cancer. We embraced again before she left to meet her friend for her return drive home across the Alberta prairie. I felt comforted to know she returns to a safe and nurturing environment.
Stress Relieving: for this dear woman and a reminder to me to appreciate each day.
Two:
A fit and young man enthusiastically said, “I saw your sign! Do you think your book will help my girlfriend? Last night she came home from work crying.” We looked through the book together and picked out a complimentary strategy card or two for her. When we looked at the section of the book that describes how to monitor critical self-chatter he enthused, “She really needs to hear that. She’s so hard on herself.” He has lived with his girlfriend for over two years and his eager support of her was very enduring. Even if he had not bought a book I would have felt impressed.
Stress Relieving: for a young man and his sweetie.
Three:
A burly looking man, sturdy built woman and four children stood across the mall hallway from the book display. As the man pointed to the From Woe to WOW book sign, the woman began to cry and dab away her tears. He approached. “My wife doesn’t work. Can this book help her?” I replied, “Are those your children and your wife?” To his, ”Yes,” I was quick to reply–”Well, seems to me your wife does work assuming she cleans, cooks and cares for your family.” He did “admit” that she did “a lot in the house,” that his badgering wasn’t helping and she didn’t feel confident to job search. Before our conversation ended I gave him a Choose a Home Life That Strengths Resilience strategy card. I told him, “The best you can do is create a safe and encouraging home life so that one day your wife will feel proud of her accomplishments and talents. Your acknowledgement of her will help her be ready for the world of work outside of your home.”
Stress Relieving: hopefully for a mom and her children.
Note: What a different attitude between the eager boyfriend who empathized and appropriately supported his sweetie and the husband who claimed, “My wife doesn’t work.” Just two weeks ago I had a TV interviewer try to tell me that the struggle for women to feel competent and equal to males is over. Well we still have some dinosaurs. Hopefully, with a little bit of persuasion, they’re open to empowering women who need to be reminded they are competent, appreciated and loved.
Please let me know your thoughts or fire me a question in the ”Leave a Reply” box below. I’ll be sure to respond.
Patricia Morgan is a speaker, workshop leader and author of
From Woe to WOW: How Resilient Women Succeed at Work http://www.FromWoeToWOW.org
Contact her to helphelp your people become stress hardy at 403-242-7796,
patricia@SolutionsForResilience.com or http://www.SolutionsForResilience.com
{ 2 comments… read them below or add one }
Hi Patricia,
Just over a year ago, you held a seminar in South Calgary (Elbow Drive) as part of the degree you were finishing. It was fortuitous that I received the invitation as it was absolutely the thing I needed at one of the lowest points of my life and you did not charge for it as it was part of your degree. I was recovering from losing the sight in one eye, closing my little company after 10 years because the product was no longer being manufactured, being unable to pay my bills and having to find a new direction. My confidence in myself was absolutely zero and I distinguished myself by crying because I felt inadequate during the exercises we took part in. Your encouragement and support were so welcome and I believe made all the difference to me at that time.
Shortly after that I was called for an interview by a large company and was only able to face it as an “exercise” as I knew there was no way I would be chosen. Well, the upshot is, I WAS offered the job and have just celebrated one year there. I love the work, have taken a couple of courses sponsored by my company and my life has opened up and is fulfilling again. The amazing thing I have found is that so much of my previous experience, my years as a career mother and homemaker, my years running my own humble little company, is extremely appropriate. Women do not realise all the talents they employ when they work only in the home. I have just read your article about the family who approached you and the husband claimed his wife “doesn’t work”. My heart just goes out to her. Like me, she probably has no idea how much she has to offer if she is ready to look for work outside the home.
Patricia, you asked me to keep you informed and now a year later, it seems a good time to be able to thank you for your help and encouragement and let you know that I am amazed how competent I am and I never realised it!
regards
Diana
First off Diana, CONGRATULATIONS! You took in what you needed to hear. Sometimes the best action is to feel the fear, walk with our doubt and do what seems unimaginable. What a wonderfully inspiring story you tell; a story of resilience, of getting back on track but in a even bigger way.
I’m sure many women and perhaps men watched you and you came a role model of letting yourself be real and vulnerable and yet willing to reach out for help. I’m so glad we met a year ago and very glad all is very well with you. Thank you for your empathy for the women I didn’t meet but very much wanted to empower in way I could.
The workshop you attended was part of my requirements to become certified in the Survivability Program. Survivability® – How to Cope in Turbulent Times is a career and workplace oriented workshop. Based on Janis Foord Kirk’s book, Survivability: Career Strategies for the New World of Work this workshop offers ways to examine and develop the skills and attitudes needed to cope and thrive in changing workplaces.
Obviously the contents supported you in your next steps. Thank you for writing and sharing your good news with me and the world. Keep soaring!