Criticism can feel like being shame or belittled.
Many people have walked away feeling crushed, ruined, cut off at the knees, humbled, humiliated or plain cheesed off after recieving so-called constructive criticism. There are those who are totally against using any form of criticism and then there are the critical hardliners who say, “A real friend will tell you the naked truth.”
Dr. Sidney Simon’s classic little book, Negative Criticism, provides a filter or series of questions to ask before we criticize another:
1. Is this the right time?
2. Can she or he do anything about the situation or behaviour?
3. Has she or he heard this before? Is this new information?
4. Am I sure that none of my own hangups are involved?
5. Is it possible that this person needs more encouragement, than anything else?
What unwelcome criticism have you recieved? How did you handle it?
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