Those with strong resilience take a struggling heart and steer it in a self-caring direction. An e-newsletter reader wrote asking, “What do you do if your heart is in love with someone who is not available? Should I keep hoping or move on?” My answer follows:
The short answer is move on. Sounds like you have been giving up valuable time and energy in a dead end. It’s interesting that experimental rats will quit going to empty food trays to search out new territory. We humans need to differentiate between t
hinking optimistically and merely thinking wishfully and unrealistically.
You know this person is “not available.” This is not a clue. It is a fact. The other fact is, you deserve to have your heart held by someone who will give you his or her all. Two books come to mind that may help: Are You the One for Me? by Barbara De Angelo and Who Moved My Cheese? by Spencer Johnson.
Get exposure and show you are available. Appropriate flirting is encouraged. Engage in sports clubs, serve on organizations’ executives, walk or run for a good cause and volunteer for your favourite charity. As my mother says, “Probably 7 out of 10 relationships would work, if the parties agreed to commit.” Good luck finding that person who will commit to being your lifetime friend and partner.
What might your answer to this reader have been?
