Patricia with hubby, Les and children, Kelly, Ben and Katie
Suggested Guidelines:
- Meet on a regular basis, at a specific time, for a specific length of time. After Sunday dinner works many families.
- Utilize active listening and “I” messages tools to encourage clear communication.
- Use the meetings to solve problems and increase the joy in your family.
- Use family meetings to make requests from one another including weekly meal preparation. This addresses “Ah, do we have to eat this?” groans.
- Use family meetings to defer complaints and pleas, “Bring it up at family meeting.”
- Use the meetings to plan family events, outings, games and fun.
- Decide whether you want to keep minutes of your meetings. An adult may chair the meeting while a child may keep minutes. Trade around responsibilities as the children learn note taking and chairing skills.
- Make clear commitments to one another. State either “I will” or “I won’t.”
- Expect minimal involvement from family members five years and under.
Suggested Format:
1. Share appreciations from the previous week.
Examples:
- Thank you Dad for fixing my bicycle.
- Thank you Johnny for keeping your agreement to stay out of your sister’s room.
2. Evaluate solutions used in the previous week.
Example:
- We have kept articles off the stair steps all week and I think we have made our family safer. I would like to recommend that we keep up this new habit.
3. Identify problems (complaints) of the week. Keep these to no more than one per family member.
Example:
- I feel overworked with responsibilities. I need support and help at home.
4. Brain storm and problem solve solutions with phrases such as, “I could” or “We could.”
Example:
- I could tidy up after meals.
- I could get a meal once a week.
- We, kids, could make our own lunches.
- We could all clean the house together on Saturdays.
5. Make a decision of the bet solution using phrase such as “I will” and “we will.”
Example:
Do we all agree that we will clean the house together Saturday mornings?
6. Define wants and requests of one another. Make future plans for the next week or longer
Examples:
- Will you, Dad or Mom, make a chocolate cake for dessert on Saturday?
- Have we all agreed to go to Disney World next year? I suggest we brainstorm some ideas about how we can save and plan for this trip.
7. End with a family game, activity or snacking treat.
How have family meetings assisted you to live with more cooperation and harmony?
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