Suggested Guidelines:
1. Meet on a regular basis, at a specific time, for a specific length of time. After Sunday Dinner works for many families.
2. Utilize active listening and “I” message tools to encourage clear communication.
- Patricia Morgan, Les, Kelly, Ben and Katie
3. Use the meetings to solve problems and to plan fun family events and outings.
4. Decide whether you want to keep minutes of your meetings. An adult might chair the meeting while a child might keep minutes. Trade responsibilities as the children learn note taking and chairing skills.
5. Make clear commitments to one another. State either I will or I won’t.
6. Expect minimal involvement from family members five years of age and under.
Suggested Format:
1. Share appreciations from the previous week. Example: “Thank you, Dad, for fixing my bicycle.” “Thank you, Johnny, for keeping your agreement to stay out of your sister’s room.”
2. Evaluation of solutions used in the previous week. Example: “We kept paper, toys and stuff off the stair steps all week and I think we have kept our family safer. I would like to recommend that we keep up this new habit.”
3 Problems identified (complaints) of the week. Each person is allowed to identify one problem they want solved. They take ownership that it is their problem. Example: “I have a problem. I am not getting enough sleep. After everyone else is in bed, I do kitchen clean up, pack school lunches, tidy the house and do the laundry.”
4. Make a request. Example: “I want to do less of the household tasks and for you to do more.”
5. Brainstorm optional solutions. Example: “I could tidy up after meals. I could get a meal once a week. We could do our own laundry. We, kids, could make our own lunches. We could all clean the house together on Saturdays.”
6. Agree on your solution or solutions. Example: “Do we all agree that the children will make their own lunches and we will clean the house together Saturday mornings?”
7. End with a family game, activity or snacking treat.
