Self Discovery and Personal Growth Begin with ‘aha’ Moments
Introduction
Self discovery and personal growth are key to a meaningful life. Repeatedly, I see evidence of this truth. Increasingly, I see younger adults enter my therapy space because of ‘aha’ moments. Consider this message from a mere twenty-two-year-old:
Help me find a reason to care.
Life is bland, everything in the world is about working on one thing or another. I simply don’t care about money, about love, about possessions. Life feels like a chore. I can’t think of anything that I am happy about, anything that I am grateful for. Why am I fighting so hard for the things I don’t care about?
This message represents the ‘aha’ thought of “I want something more, but I don’t know what. There’s something to discover but I don’t know how. But maybe someone can help me.”
Both personal growth and self discovery allow people, like this new client, to uncover their passions, values, and strengths. When people understand themselves better, they can align their actions and decisions with what truly matters to them, leading to a sense of satisfaction.
Have You Experienced a Life-Altering Moment?
What about you? Have you ever experienced a moment that altered your life path? A moment where your perspective shifted, leading you down a new path filled with insight and clarity? These moments can come from various sources – a person’s words, a thought, or a painful, surprising, or joyful experience. Commitment to personal growth or self discovery moves those moments into action.
Defining Personal Growth and Self Discovery
Personal growth refers to the ongoing process of developing our capabilities, skills, and self-awareness while attending to our physical, emotional, intellectual, and social well-being. For most of us, it involves reflection and a willingness to take on challenges to continually learn and grow. The focus is on continuous growth and becoming the best version of oneself.
Self discovery focuses on self-awareness on a deeper level. It is about making the unconscious conscious. We can gain insight into our beliefs, emotions, values, identity, strengths, weaknesses, passions, desires, coping patterns, and life purpose. It is a journey of self-acceptance and personal healing, while gaining clarity about who you are, what you want, and what drives you.
Self Discovery and Personal Growth Benefits
Self discovery and personal growth build our resilience to face challenges with adaptability and healthy coping strategies. They both support us to live authentically and create a sense of belonging to caring for others. Both require a mindset that supports lifelong learning and a sense of curiosity and creativity that leads to personal, and often, professional development.
Ultimately self discovery and personal growth lead to a life full of meaning, purpose, and well-being.
Three Personal Aha Moments of Self Discovery and Personal Growth
1. Confronting Shame
In my 20s, I faced the reality of my own trauma. In an anger rage I hit our beloved daughter and then collapsed in tears of shame and self-loathing. This moment led me to seek therapy, where I discovered the healing power of vulnerability and self-improvement. As Will Rogers aptly put it,
“The worst thing that happens to you may be the best thing for you if it doesn’t get the best of you.”
Because of this experience and subsequent therapy, I changed my poor thought patterns and ineffective coping patterns. I committed myself to personal growth by going back to school (I had dropped out of high school) and began to relate and live aligned with my core values.
2. Embracing Identity and Self-Worth
Sometimes, a simple exchange with another person can trigger a profound shift in our self-perception. The night I met my mentor, therapist and shaman, Gwendolyn Jansma, her words challenged me to rethink how I saw myself. She told me, “You say your name is Pat Morgan. But that is a small name for such a magnificent woman. Are you not Patricia?” I flashed back to my childhood and my feelings of fear every time I was yelled at with Patricia! But in that moment with Gwen, I decided I was a safe adult and was ready to live in the fullness of my name. I answered, “Yes, my name is Patricia.”
3. Discovering Unconditional Love:
Our oldest daughter ran away from home at age sixteen. My identity as an Early Childhood Educator and loving mother, was challenged. In a therapy session, I made the decision to mail her a letter every month and through the process discovered the power of unconditional love. After eleven years of writing monthly letters, we truly connected and eventually co-authored the critically acclaimed book, “Love Her As She Is: Lessons from a Daughter Stolen by Addictions.”
Obviously, a healing process was involved with these life changing moments.
Therapy: Help to Access Personal Growth and Self Discovery
As mentioned above, therapy is closely aligned with personal growth and particularly self discovery. Here’s how:
Self Discovery in Therapy: Therapy often involves techniques such as introspection, reflection, and exploration of thoughts and emotions. It invites people to gain insight into past experiences, and patterns of behavior.
Personal Growth in Therapy: Therapists can help clients set goals, build resilience, and develop coping strategies that increase self-confidence, assertiveness, and emotional regulation.
Integration with Healing: When we heal from past trauma, we can better overcome obstacles and develop inner strength.
Alignment with Therapeutic Approaches: Many therapeutic modalities, such as positive psychology, cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT), and humanistic-existential therapy, incorporate elements of self discovery and personal growth into their approaches.
Long-Term Benefits: The self discovery and personal growth fostered in therapy have long-term benefits for mental, emotional, and relational health.
Therapy offers numerous advantages for personal growth and self discovery, providing individuals with valuable skills, insights, and support leading to a deeper personal understanding of self.
In Conclusion:
In essence, self discovery provides the insight and self-awareness needed to embark on a journey of personal growth, while personal growth enriches and deepens self-understanding. Whether through therapy or other means, my wish for you is to have ‘aha’ moments that not only lead you to self discovery and growth, but affirm you are lovable, capable, and resilient.
