Conversation Quizzes: How to More Effectively Speak and Listen

Patricia Morgan Communication Skills communication, listening, relationships 0

fish swimming in water
Just as water is home to fish, our conversations are the context or home to our relationships.

Sharing and listening are keys to making relationships work. Good communication that creates mutual understanding is even better.

Effectively Speak

Let us begin with speaking with honesty, kindness, authenticity, and sometimes assertiveness. You have control over the words you choose. Choose carefully. The below quiz will give you indicators on how to effectively speak up.

How I Talk Quiz

Give a score to the following points:

1= almost never 2 – 3 – 4 to 5= almost always

I easily introduce myself.
I feel at ease introducing people to one another.
I engage in and appreciate the value of small talk to feel out a new relationship.
The message I send is usually understood by my listeners.
My words are congruent with my body language.
I unreservedly say “no” and “yes” or “it depends” or “let me think about it.”
When I want a focused discussion, I check to see if it is a mutually convenient time.
I share my intention for focused discussions, “I want to talk to you about . . .”
When appropriate, I freely express my thinking, beliefs and feelings.
When appropriate, I tell others how I disagree.
I avoid criticizing others and seek ways to support them.
When conversing with a person who has pessimistic tendencies, I hold my own with an optimistic viewpoint.
I share my funny, painful, happy, failure and success stories with others.
I avoid monologues and allow spaces of silence for others to join in.
I freely give appreciation, compliments and acknowledgements.

What was your score out of 75 in the listening quiz? Congratulations if your total was 50 points or more!

Note: For ideas to help with networking, new relationships and conversation topics check out my blog, Four Steps to Create Safe and Healthy Friendships. It has helped many of my counselling clients.

Listen Better

True conversationalists use the wonder of listening skills. Listening is often given less attention than speaking up and few people will take a listening quiz. I sure hope you are one of the few!

Attentive listening meets the human need to be seen, heard and acknowledged. By hearing with an intention to comprehend and understand, we create emotional safety.

Effective listening is important to business communication. It indicates respect, attentiveness, and assertiveness. It can also help avoid misunderstandings, conflict and errors. Valuable acknowledgment, feedback and guidance all require skilled listening. It is also important to enriching friendships and adds to a harmonious home life.

When someone comes to you with a problem they are demonstrating courage. They are also trusting you to stop, to care and to listen without judgment, quick solutions or inappropriate interruptions. Please take the quiz below to assess your listening skills.

Listen to understand

How I Listen Quiz

Give a score to the following points:

1= almost never 2 – 3 – 4 to 5= almost always

I let others know if and when I have time to attentively listen.
When it is not a convenient time for me, I arrange a mutually agreeable time to meet and listen.
I sit, settle and indicate I am listening by saying something like “I am listening”.
When I listen I imagine walking in the speaker’s shoes.
I seek first to understand what is being said before I jump in with my point of view.
Even when I disagree, I wait and continue to try to understand the speaker’s perspective. I might add, “Tell me more about that.”
I check now and then if I understand what is being said. I say something like “Are you saying . . . ?”
When I do not understand what I hear, I say something like “I do not understand. I want to get this, so please say it in another way. OK? ”
I notice the speaker’s body language and use it to receive significant information. For example, I notice teary eyes, hand wringing or head shaking. I might say, “Your head is shaking, no.”
I notice my own feelings but I do not make the sharing about me. I use my feelings emphatically, “If I were you I would feel (or another feeling) …”
I am aware of what is emotionally difficult for me to hear. If I have trouble hearing something I later take ‘my difficulty’ to a trusted confident.
I effectively ask open-ended questions to hear more. I carefully use questions that begin with what, when, where, how and who.
When possible I listen with full attention, compassion and soft eye contact.
I thank the speaker for sharing with me. I say something like “Thank you for sharing a tough situation with me.”
After I receive appreciation or acknowledgment for listening, I breathe it in, smile and say “Thank you.”

What was your score out of 75 in the listening quiz? Congratulations if your total was 50 points or more!

Summary

How did you do overall? I am interested!

If you want to improve your communication skills consider putting into action some of the above points or read my other blogs in the Communications Skills category. Here are a few to get you started.