One of the most effective ways to strengthen your personal resilience is to explore your childhood wounds. For some people, life as an adult does not look, sound or feel satisfying. They often wonder why they and their lives are a painful mess. That was once true for me before I engaged in counseling and discovered that the root of some of my inappropriate adult behaviors stemmed from my upbringing.
Most of us have had our resiliency challenged when we feel resentment for hurtful behavior by others. Perhaps equally as painful is longing for others to forgive our transgressions. Then we are stuck. Those who are wise tell us that our emotional freedom rests in putting forgiveness into action–for ourselves and others! But how?
For many of us, it feels as if life is happening to us. We have a sense of being controlled by the events and circumstances outside of ourselves. But the late psychiatrist and author, Viktor Frankl, described how our internal Locus of Control can help us survive challenges, even unspeakable adversity. As a survivor of The Holocaust, he describes his discovery in his book, Man’s Search for Meaning.
Most of us have done it. We have walked out on a loved one, said something we regretted or burst into a rage or tears. We have worried too much, resented too much or complained too much. Toddlers are known for their temper tantrums and teen-agers are known for their sullenness or screeching “I hate you!” Regrettably, some times, some adults are also known for not managing their emotions.