social intelligence, feelings, boundaries, emotions, humor
Those with a strong internal locus of control believe that they are primarily in charge of their lives. Those with a strong external locus of control believe that they are primarily at the mercy of other people, fate or chance. They often perceive themselves as victims of their situations.
Too often one adult declares that another adult is being abusive. Before you decide you are in a bullying or abusive relationship and call the Abuse Police, get a handle on what is really happening. OK? Abuse is mistreatment, by any other person or persons, that violates a person’s human and civil rights. Children […]
Most of us have done it. We have walked out on a loved one, slammed a door, said something we regretted or burst into rage or tears. I have been there screaming, “I will go crazy if you don’t do that!” I needed to learn emotional regulation skills. By the way, I did! We tend […]
Emotional pain showed up years ago at a therapy training session. Those feelings hijacked my focus. When I approached the trainer in a distraught state she looked at me and said, “You do know how to self-regulate, don’t you?” The training content reminded me of something I had done long ago that I regretted and […]
In my daughter Kelly’s and my book, Love Her As She Is: Lessons from a Daughter Stolen by Addictions I describe fourteen ways to love unconditionally with clear boundaries. The first way is take your frustrations to someone you trust. Family Patterns of Feeling Frustrated Life events can often trigger us to feel frustrated. As […]
What might happen if masses of people stopped looking for perfect and expecting no flaws in themselves, others, and the world? I like to say, “We’re perfectly imperfect.” On day Friend, Jannette, said to me, “Thank you to Les and you for staying married for soooooo many years. So many people are looking for the […]
Have you ever said or done anything you regret? I am not talking about a fumble mumble or tripping over the front hall rug. Rather, I am referring to disrespecting someone, emotionally wounding another, or crossing over a personal boundary. I’ve done my fair share. For example, I have: Acted disrespectfully. Years ago, I invited […]
Many people imagine they are merely feeling sad or blue when actually they are in a depressed state. Others imagine they are depressed when they are merely feeling sad. It will help to know the difference between feeling blue and depressed.
Dr. Seuss was correct, You have a brain in your head. Use it well. Wipe out the cobwebs. Nourish it with wisdom and compassion. Our present culture tends to fill our children’s brains will commercialism, greedy, sugar, violent images, mean-spirited competition, contempt, discontent, and trivia. What really matters are the deep virtues that are expressed over and […]
Lance Armstrong’s Deception Caught The headlines were filled with cycling champion, Lance Armstrong’s lying, deception, and cheating. In an interview with Oprah Winfrey (televised January 17, 2013) he said, “I went and looked up the definition of cheat . . . the definition is to gain an advantage on a rival or foe. I did not view it that way. […]
For over 25 years I have taken my journal to Sunday service. For many of those years my spiritual guide was The Reverend Doctor Carol Carnes, author of The Way In. Now those journals are filled with spiritual quotes that support my continued efforts to build personal, emotional, and spiritual resilience. When a spiritual quote resonates, […]
When bullying is happening, our culture wants to move into an anti-bullying mode of defence. But maybe there is a more effective strategy. When our son, Benjamin was 15 years old we moved to Calgary. We had no idea he was bullied until one day he came home with a whack of hair cut out of […]