Christmas Hype and How to Calm Children’s Anxiety

A Tradition to Calm Christmas Hype

Years ago, when Les and I were raising our young family, I noticed the children became stressed in December.  Television commercials made the toys look exciting and larger than reality.  While sitting on Santa’s lap they were asked, “What do you want for Christmas?” They wrote letters to the jolly old man and crossed their fingers. Christmas hype created anxiety!

They asked, “Is Santa real?  Will he bring that Ice Maker Spin Master? Am I going to get what I really want?” As an Early Childhood Educator and concerned mother, I wanted to understand what was going on and find a solution. First the problem needed to be named.

The Problem with Christmas Hype

Here are five reasons why Christmas hype can be overwhelming for children:

1. High Expectations: The build-up to Christmas is often filled with messages about what children should want or receive, from toys to special experiences. This can create pressure and disappointment if their expectations don’t match reality, leading to them feeling frustrated and disappointed.
2. Sensory Overload: Christmas is filled with bright lights, loud music, crowded stores, and lots of activity. For many children, especially those with sensory sensitivities, the stimulation can be overwhelming.
3. Disrupted Routines: The holiday season often means changes in routine—late nights, missed naps, travel, and irregular mealtimes. These disruptions can cause confusion and anxiety for adults, let alone our children. It’s hard to process all the changes.
4. Gift-Giving Pressure: The emphasis on gift-giving and receiving can make children feel pressured to perform, either by giving gifts or by behaving a certain way to “deserve” gifts.
5. Social Comparisons: Social media and school chatter can add to children’s pressure to have “the best” Christmas or the most exciting presents.

These examples can lead to an emotional overload and a stressful holiday season. But what to do to counteract this yearly holiday stress?

Les and I decided to try an experiment and do Christmas differently to minimize the stress. It worked! It still works with our grandchildren. Here is what we did and do!

The Christmas Gift or Gifts

1. A time and day is chosen for a date with a child or children. Plan for two to three hours.
2. We clearly state the parameters (boundaries) to the child. “You may choose one Christmas gift that you really want. You are allowed to spend up to $ (you decide what the family budget allows). You may choose whatever you want as long as it is non-violent and age-appropriate.”
3. We show patience and allow potential gifts to go in and out the shopping cart as each item is given thoughtful consideration.
4. After we bring the gift home, together we wrap it and put it under the tree.
5. We say, “There you go! You will open this gift knowing it is what you want. How about we keep it a surprise until Christmas day?”

As a bonus consider learning some holiday riddles to add to the fun:

The Benefits of Calming Christmas Hype

The real gift is spending special time with a child.  Discussions are focused on price and play value.  You become a key and trusted consultant.  But the final decision, within the established boundaries, is up to the child.

I recall my six-year-old daughter Katie putting a doll in the cart to replace it by a play sewing machine. Then it was replaced by molding clay which was replaced by a Barbie car, and on and on. I hoped she would choose sex-neutral Lego! After an hour of Katie deliberating her options she made her decision. She chose a domestic-oriented package that included a play broom, dustpan, mop and duster. I wanted her to use our real household tools!

Fast forward a few years, in a similar process our grandson, Jamie, chose a skateboard helmet. Our granddaughter, Danielle, chose a black light which radiated a fluorescent glow.  It made her room a fun place to retreat. We would never have known to buy these prized items, particularly the black light.

What’s the biggest reward? You will be a child’s hero for calming Christmas hype. Plus, you just might hear a little voice telling a visitor, “See that gift under the tree?  That’s exactly what I want for Christmas!”

Please let me know if you tried this process with a special child. Sharing your experience just might inspire other parents, grandparents and other caregivers to do likewise.

Note: for additional ideas to calm children overwhelmed by Christmas hype here is a Psychology Today article by Dr. Marina Heifetz called  “Navigating Stress Around the Holidays With Your Kids: How to reduce kids’ meltdowns and strengthen connections”.

Conclusion

While December can be filled with joy and excitement, the overwhelming Christmas hype can sometimes overshadow the simple pleasures of the season, especially for children. By being mindful of the pressures and expectations involved, we can help our kids focus on what truly matters: love, connection, and gratitude. Instead of getting caught up in the frenzy, let’s strive to create experiences filled with meaningful moments and cherished traditions.

PS – Another fun (and calming) Christmas activity is to watch some classic movies.  Check out my blog called  Two Dozen Wonderful Classic Christmas Movies. Happy viewing!

Please check out these related posts:

• Yummy and Easy Holiday Cookies: Make, Refrigerate, Eat!
• Christmas Hype and How to Calm Children’s Anxiety
• Holiday Stress to a Calm and Merry Christmas!
• Holiday To Do List: How to Assess Your Time and Effort