Kindness: When You Can, Speak Words of Care

The world needs more kindness! In some moments, on some days, someone feels hurt, sad, angry, frustrated, discouraged, worried or anxious.  It might be you, your children, your spouse, your friend, your neighbor or a coworker. That’s a probability.   Also, true is demonstrating sincere kindness can positively affect your family, community and, yes, the world.

What is kindness? A google search tells us:

Kindness is the quality of being gentle, caring, and helpful. We have been treated with such kindness by everybody. Synonyms include goodwill, understanding, charity, and grace.

Reasons to Demonstrate Kindness

Kindness can transform relationships, communities, and the world. Here are five ways kindness makes the world a better place:

1. Acts of kindness strengthen connections between people, creating trust and mutual respect. Kindness reduces loneliness and fosters a sense of belonging within families, workplaces, and communities.
2. People are often inspired to pay forward acts of kindness.
3. Giving and receiving kindness boosts emotional well-being. It helps people feel happier, calmer, and more connected.
4. Kindness boosts resilience because it helps people better handle adversity and feel supported. Research indicates that just knowing someone cares about them reduces feelings of loneliness.
5. It can de-escalate conflict and instill peace. Disagreements expressed with kind words makes it easier for people to hear different perspectives.
6. Studies show that kindness can improve mental and physical health by reducing stress, lowering blood pressure, and boosting mood through the release of oxytocin, the feel-good hormone. People who are healthier are more engaged, productive, and motivated to help others.
7. You generate FEEL GOOD hormones for yourself!

Here’s a brief video about the Science of Kindness:

Are you ready to contribute to a more compassionate, peaceful, and supportive world? Let’s go!

1. When and if you notice someone out of sorts, gently smile and kindly ask, “How are you feeling?” and listen.
2. When appropriate deliver the best-fit comforting and kind words. Here is a list for those tender moments.

Loving and Caring Kindness

• No matter what, I care.
• You matter to me.
• I see the pain in your eyes and I hear the distress in your voice.
• I love you.
• I miss you.
• I have been thinking about you. How are you really?
• You are not what you did. You are always lovable, resilient and capable.

Apologize

• I feel sorry. What can I do to make amends?
• I apologize. I acted inappropriately.
• I hope you will forgive me but I know that is your decision.
• My intention was not to hurt you. I wanted to . . .

Be a Calm Presence with Kindness

• I am here. I am with you. I am listening. Tell me more.
• It’s OK to cry. Better to cry on the outside than drown on the inside.
• All feelings are valid. I will listen to them all.
• It sounds like you feel (sad, hurt, scared, anxious, helpful, frustrated, angry) about . . .

Offer to Problem Solve

• How can I help?
• Do you want me to primarily listen or do you want suggestions, or both?
• What and who is the biggest problem in this situation?
• If circumstances were better, what do you really want to do?  
• Which option makes the most sense to you?
• How may I help make this happen for you?

Acknowledge and Affirm Reality

• I imagine you feel disappointed that you were turned down.
• Receiving repeated complaints is de-motivating. I, too, feel discouraged when I’m given too many grumbles, especially after I’ve done my best. 
• I noticed how diligently and focused you’ve worked on this.

Encourage:

• I have seen you do hard things before.
• I know you are capable of this.
• It’s ok to take your time. It’s OK to ask for help.
• You learned how to do that. Congratulations!
• Please make mistakes and learn from them. We like learning here.
• You demonstrate great potential for (any skill or talent).
• You are on the right track.
• You’re getting there.
• I enjoy working with you.

 Appreciate:

• Thank you. You made my day easier.
• Thank you. You brought love to my day.
• Thank you. You brought joy to my day.
• Thank you. You gave me a good laugh.
• Thank you. Your help was just what I needed.
• Thank you for noticing. (to a compliment)
• I appreciate your (dedication, leadership, care, patience . . . )
• Thank you for completing the task so thoroughly.
• Thank you. The world is a better place because of your contribution.

What are your favorite words of kindness to say or hear? Please share how someone expressed care to you, one tender moment. OK?

Please check out these related posts:

• Five Steps to an Authentic and Research Based Apology
• People Boost with Acknowledgement, Appreciation and Encouragement
• Help Build Resilience in Others: Be a People Booster