26 Affirmations to Help Reprogram Your Negative Self-Talk
Much has been written about the power of positive thinking. I have worked hard to become aware of my negative thoughts and self-talk. I have also worked hard to replace them with resilient and uplifting thoughts and self-talk. My strongest, negative self-talk was “You are stupid”. But it was and continues (in rare moments) to be only a thought. It was passed onto me by my father. An unwelcome gift, that keeps giving, if I do not catch it! I still can hear him yelling at Mom and me, “You stupid females!”
It has been estimated that up to 75% of some people’s self-talk is negative. WOW! That is heavy but we have a choice. We can hang on, strengthen, minimize or let go of thoughts. And yes, reprogramming negative self-talk takes awareness, emotional intelligence, and committed effort. Are you ready to take on your negative self-talk beast?
The Self-Talk Loop
Most of our self-talk is like a looping and internal audio tape. It was often embedded into our unconscious during childhood. Caregivers pass on their automated messages to their charges. Some of the common negative messages include:
- Don’t do that!
- Stop crying or I’ll give you something to cry about.
- You can’t do that!
- Don’t be so stupid.
- You’re so selfish.
- Behave yourself!
- Do as you are told.
These demeaning and confidence squashing messages can have a significant impact on young children’s brains. They can become unconsciously embedded from our caregivers to ourselves. Then we continue the dirty self-talk work; often passing on to the next generation!
The Benefits of Taking On Your Negative Self-Talk
- Your mental health will improve as you reduce the internal put downs. Feelings of anxiety, stress and depression will calm.
- Talking positive to yourself will increase your sense of self-worth and feelings of confidence.
- When you speak supportively to yourself your nervous system calms and you are then better able to think clearly. You will know when it is wise to accept a situation and when it is better to work at a solution.
- Turning your self-talk into some possibilities allows you to better handle inevitable setbacks.
- When you speak kindly to yourself, you are apt to speak similarly to others. Support yourself becomes the ability to support others.
Re-program Your Self-Talk
- write on cue cards,
- record and play back to yourself,
- write in your journal,
- have a support person repeatedly say to you,
- breathe in!
25 Affirmations to Increase your Positive Self-Talk
- I can keep myself safe.
- I deserve love.
- I am a good and loving person.
- I can do it.
- I can trust myself.
- I am in control of my life.
- I now have choices.
- I have intelligence.
- I am okay just the way I am.
- I can get what I want.
- I can succeed.
- I can make mistakes and learn.
- I can choose who to trust.
- I belong here.
- I can feel all of my feelings.
- I can think and feel at the same time.
- I can know what I know.
- I can initiate, grow and learn.
- I can be active and quiet.
- I can think and speak for myself.
- My needs and wants are important.
- I can be independent and interdependent.
- I can be powerful and ask for help at the same time.
- I can be creative, competent, productive, and joyful.
- I can trust my inner wisdom.
- I am lovable at every age.
Give yourself these affirming messages ten times more than you imagine you need to hear them. Practice, practice and practice and you will get to the hall of self. Renovate your interior, replace your negative self-talk, and enjoy the sweetness of positive self-talk.
Related Books: Here are two books that can help you transform your negative self-talk:
- Growing Up Again: Parenting Ourselves, Parenting Our Children by Jean I. Clarke
- Taming Your Gremlin by Richard Carson
April 20, 2025 @ 6:22 am
This was very helpful Patricia. I found you through chat gpt. Self talk is in my opinion, the most critical factor in how we move through life. I’m at a crossroads right now and this was a helpful reminder. Thank you.
April 22, 2025 @ 12:23 am
Hi Bobby,
Thank you for your thoughtful comment. I’m glad you found the blog/article, 26 Affirmations to Help Reprogram Your Negative Self-Talk of value. You are correct about self-talk being a critical factor in our well-being. Self-talk creates our reality, the lens from which we view ourselves and others. Self-talk is not who we are. Those thoughts, including the negative, judgemental ones are merely thoughts. Many of them landed in our unconscious many years ago. No baby is born with negative, critical self-talk. We were born lovable and that hasn’t changed.
You might find these other related posts also helpful:
1) Loving What Is by Byron Katie – Book Summary at https://www.solutionsforresilience.com/loving-what-is/ Note: if you don’t know about her work, I encourage to look into it.
2) Resilient Self-Talk: Strategies for Mindful Thinking and Personal Growth at https://www.solutionsforresilience.com/resilient-self-talk
3) Breaking Brain Patterns: Negative Self-Talk Interventions at https://www.solutionsforresilience.com/self-talk-interventions
Good on you for examining the thoughts in your head. We know from brain plasticity research the brain has the ability to reorganize and adapt; our neural pathways can be reprogrammed. I know. I’ve done it. You can too, especially since you have demonstrated a willingness to embrace this ancient wisdom:
“As you think in your heart, so you are.” Proverbs 23:7 ❤️🐞
September 13, 2018 @ 7:45 am
Great article Patricia.! We all need to be reminded that its okay to feel all our feelings and its empowering to love ourselves. Your message matters…keep up the meaningful work.
September 13, 2018 @ 1:05 pm
Thank you Debra,
For affirming my work, my meaningful fun of inspiring, educating and speaking about the importance of seeing ourselves as resourceful, lovable, and resilient.
September 25, 2017 @ 10:55 am
Thank you Patricia for your on-going contribution to making our lives the best that they can be! I always receive a wealth of information and a good laugh – and we all know the benefits of laughter!!
September 27, 2017 @ 1:51 am
Well, Ms. Safe Stress and Ukelele Lady you bring much laughter, wellness, and joy to the world.Thank you, for leaving a comment on my blog. Well appreciated. It feels rewarding to know that it is read and appreciated. Thank you, Lana Meranda . . . or whoever you are playing being today!