Overcoming Ageism: Tips for Older People to Live with Dignity and Respect

It was soon after I entered the Calgary Commonwealth Centre to deliver a keynote message at a conference, that the young meeting planner ran towards me. “You’re here, ma’am. Can I help you, ma’am?” This ma’am-wording was foreign to my ears, so I asked, “Were you expecting someone younger?” “Yes ma’am.” “Well, my energy is strong, and my message will resonate with your audience!” That was my first experience of overcoming ageism.

Since I turned 70, I have spoken about resilient aging and have concluded that there are many ways we can live vibrantly regardless of our age. The years between 65 and 100 or more is a significant life span. It is to our benefit to adjust to each year and live it to our capacity. The first step in doing so is to become aware of when agism is active in ourselves and others. The second step is to steady ourselves with our personal value and demonstrate resilient ageing.

Ageism Awareness

Wikipedia defines ageism, also spelled agism, as

discrimination against individuals or groups on the basis of their age. The term was coined in 1969 by Robert Neil Butler to describe discrimination against seniors and patterned on sexism and racism.

Ageism Research

Increasingly, researchers and governmental institutions are taking ageism seriously as reflected by reports such as “The Impact of Ageism on Older Canadians: A Scoping Review” by the Institute for Research on Public Policy, and “Ageism and Age Discrimination in Canada: An Overview.”

In 2022 and 2023 I participated in a study, Ageism and Myths About Older People, through the Social Sciences and Humanities Research Council of Canada (SSHRC) and CanAge. The researchers and advisory group, of which I was a member, were led by Dr. Sherry Dahlke of the University of Alberta.

It is with pleasure that I share the project’s findings.

Note from the researchers: These documents are intended for dissemination to lay audiences and can also be used as part of course content for your teaching or shared with colleagues who also address these issues in their teaching. Please note that references for all relevant material are listed towards the end of the powerpoint and Canva documents, as are attributions for the photos, which are all copyright-free and free to use (drawn from the Pexels.com and Pixabay.com websites).

Summary of Ageism Myths and Perceptions

Ageism goes both ways from younger people toward older people and older people toward younger people. Ageism is often supported by perceptions of stereotypes.

Age does not determine whether you have misconceptions about age groups. Many older people and younger people engage in ageism. When our son, Benjamin, was in Grade 2, he complained about his teacher, whom he called Old Bag Bolton. Our perception was that she was much older than us. At our first parent-teacher meeting, we were surprised to meet a 30 something old.

Older people often perceive younger people as:

1. Behaving irresponsibly and disrespectfully to authority.
2. Lazy and unmotivated.
3. Less reliable than those older than them.
4. Not understanding the value of money.
5. Over focused on themselves, rather than community and world affairs.

Younger people often perceive older people as:

1. Unable to use, or out of touch with, technology.
2. Slow in their cognition.
3. Set in their ways of thinking and behaving.
4. Boring and uninteresting.
5. Not as physically fit or as socially active.

Too often we older people contribute to ageism by:

1. Making negative comments about younger people.
2. Refusing to accept new research, ideas, or technologies.
3. Holding onto outdated ideas and values that are no longer relevant.
4. Acting in ways that conform to myths about being older, such as saying, “I’m too old to hike (dance, flirt, etc).”
5. Lying about our age. “It’s my 29^th”
6. Either hiding or talking excessively about the problems of aging such as our health, wrinkles, and mental decline.
7. Minimizing the positive experiences of maturity, wisdom, and life appreciation.
8. Not addressing financial difficulties, social isolation, loss, depression, anxiety, or fear of death.
9. Not reaching out for help.

Valuing Ourselves as Older People: How to Overcome Ageism

As older people, we have choice. We have hopefully matured and can make healthy choices for ourselves. We can choose to:

1. Make meaningful connections with people older and younger than ourselves. Connecting to others and having conversations is necessary for our well-being.
2. Rather than risk cognitive decline (age-related changes in thinking, learning and memory), to practice cognitive reserve. You develop new neural networks by engaging in mentally stimulating activities, such as reading and continual learning.
3. Discuss, challenge, and discuss our values with others, checking to see if they still fit with our knowledge and experience.
4. Try out new activities and avoiding the I-am-too-old mind set.
5. Be honest about our age and celebrate our increased maturity and wisdom.
6. Acknowledge and share the joys of life contentment. In a study published in the journal Developmental Psychology, researcher Laura Carstensen and colleagues reported that 160,000 participants from around the world, over the age of 60, reported more contentment than younger adults.
7. Ask for help to address financial difficulties, social isolation, loss, depression, anxiety, or fear of death.
8. Develop an attitude of gratitude for friends, family, each sunrise, and the ability to give your gifts to contribute positively to society.
9. Join the Age Pride movement to combat ageism and promote positive attitudes towards aging.
10. Develop a sense of humor about the inevitability of aging and dying. Here’s a start:

• “I didn’t get old on purpose, it just happened. If you’re lucky, it could happen to you.” Andy Rooney
• “Life is like a hot bath. It feels good while you’re in it, but the longer you stay in, the more wrinkled you get.” Jim Davis
• “A woman has the age she deserves.” Coco Chanel
• “No matter how old a mother is, she watches her middle-aged children for signs of improvement.” Florida Scott-Maxwell
• “Everything that goes up must come down. But there comes a time when not everything that’s down can come up.” George Burn