Breaking Brain Patterns: Negative Self-Talk Interventions
Introduction:
It marked an aha moment when my client emphatically said, “I was brainwashed as a child to believe I was damaged goods. No wonder the negative voices in my head are so overwhelming. I’m ready to challenge them.” I felt pleased that our self-talk interventions were proving effective. She was clear that her thoughts weren’t her reality or destiny.
The Consequences of Negative Self Talk
Self-loathing Can Develop
Messages from caregivers frequently contribute to the development of a self-loathing, non-compassionate adult mindset. As we deal with the after-effects of our childhood emotional abuse or neglect, our wounds may not have visible bruises, but they have the potential to twist our minds into believing the worst about ourselves.
They also play a significant role in creating effective coping strategies for our childhood environments. Most often, these endure into adulthood. However, those same protective behaviors can cause havoc in our relationships – defending, fibbing, hiding, being over or under-responsible, and the list goes on.
Our Amygdala Fires False Alarms
The amygdala, a significant part of our nervous system and an almond-shaped piece of our brains, helps us process emotions, including fear and stress.
Because negative self-talk often involves self-criticism, doubt, and fear, the amygdala can respond to perceived but non-existent threats. The brain perceives these thoughts as threats to self – threats of loss of self-esteem or well-being.
When the amygdala is activated by perceived threat, it triggers the release of stress hormones such as cortisol and adrenaline, consequently initiating the “fight or flight” response. It prepares us for action with increased heart rate, dilated pupils, and blood flow moved to vital organs. All this action is to protect us from our own thoughts!
Of course, we can end up with not only mental health issues but significant physical challenges due to the chronic activation of the nervous system. Prolonged stress hormones in our system can affect memory, attention, and decision-making, intensifying our negative thinking. The brain patterns, our neural pathways are then reinforced!
Mental Health Can Deteriorate
Good mental health has its foundation in our childhood. The younger the abuse, the more unconscious it is.
A 2008 study led by Aaron T. Beck suggested that negative self-talk from childhood emotional and verbal abuse is
strongly associated with the development of mental health issues such as anxiety, depression, and low self-esteem.
Healthy Coping Strategies Are Impeded
Our daily lives and the world are filled with challenge, disappointment, war, crime, and other wounded people their own sets of negative mind chatter. Ideally we want to function with a logical and grounded thought patterns the address present problems.
Another 2008 study by researchers Abela and Hankin indicated that
negative self-talk from childhood can interfere with the development of effective coping mechanisms.
The Good News about Self-Talk Interventions
Our brains, including the neural pathways that don’t serve us, can be tamed by strengthening our prefrontal cortex. The prefrontal cortex is responsible for reasoning, memory, and conscious awareness. In my book, Return to Center: Simple Strategies to Navigate Distress, Depression, and Disconnection, I refer to a fully functioning prefrontal cortex as The Centered State. We want to strengthen this state and enable it to calm our amygdala. Here we explore how that is possible.
Bless Neuroplasticity
Neuroplasticity is a term that describes the brain’s capacity to reorganize and adapt. Consequently, we have the power and control to use this ability to change our negative self-talk. When we are in the Centered State, we can identify and replace irrational and harmful thoughts with realistic, affirmative, and helpful ones. Consistent practice of improved self-talk can change our neural pathways and prove us resilient humans.
Reduction of Stress Response
With the Centered State is ins charge, we can reinforce positive self-talk, which then reduces the stress hormones. We can call in a more constructive and optimistic perspective. Gratitude has proved to calm negative self-talk. Patience also helps. We need to be patient if we self-talked ourselves into a stress hormone dump but were able to catch it. It takes about 20 minutes or more for the body to calm after we remove a stressor, including a stressful thought. Cortisol and adrenaline need time to get out of our bloodstreams.
Enhanced Emotional Regulation
When we change our self-talk, we change our emotional state—from a charged, fearful, defending, angry, or hopeless, discouraged state to The Centered State. When you work on your thoughts, you work on your emotional well-being. You can better contain and regulate them, improving your emotional intelligence.
Improved Mental Health and Relationships
With more affirming self-talk, you will probably experience improved mental health. You will feel empowered to deal with challenges and demonstrate resilience to recover from difficulties and disappointment. You may have increased confidence, focus, and improved relationships with family and friends.
A Menu of Self-Talk Interventions
Many self-talk interventions, such as mindfulness, yoga, martial arts, Cognitive Behavioral Therapy techniques, self-help books, and articles like this one, are readily available for free. However, professional help can provide significant speeding of the healing process. Either way time and focus are needed if you want to change your internal dialogue. Here are some ideas for beginning steps.
Increase Self-Awareness
Focus on noticing your thoughts. Use your Centered State to discipline yourself to literally sit down and notice. Use a journal to record your thoughts. You could use a device like your cell phone for recording.
Viktor Frankl, the Holocaust survivor, psychiatrist, and author of Man’s Search for Meaning, left us with this wisdom: the space between what happened, was said or thought, and our response is crucial. Witnessing our emotional reactions and acknowledging our triggers are crucial steps toward breaking our negative thought patterns.
The work of trauma researcher Bessel van der Kolk reinforces that merely recognizing you are living with childhood brainwashing or trauma is itself a healing self-talk intervention.
Challenge and Change the Self-Talk
Catching negative self-talk empowers us to change them. The next step is to challenge them. From the Centered State, acknowledge thoughts as merely thoughts. Question their validity. Use these questions with thoughts such as “I can’t,” “I am stupid,” “I’m unlovable,” and other dysfunctional thoughts.
- “Is it really true?”
- “Am I in real danger right now?”
- “What is the consequence of thinking this thought?”
I tell my clients, “If your thought does not have an element of self-compassion, it is probably a dysfunctional thought or belief.”
Practice Self-Affirming Thoughts
Explore what you want to believe with self-compassion. If you are telling yourself, “I can’t,” play with the thought “Yes, I can,” unless you are physically or cognitively unable. If you don’t have a disability, a supportive thought is “I can” or “I choose not to.” Again, journaling can help with this process. Unlike negative self-talk, we want to reinforce, write, and practice, practice, and practice some more with our new, positive affirmation.
A warning about affirmations: Please personalize them based on your self-talk. Being given a positive line from a book or video is most often ineffective. Too many people are telling a mirror, “I’m beautiful” when their core thought or belief was something unrelated, such as “I am stupid.” Your inner dialogue is personal to your childhood wound.
Separate Your Thoughts from Your Identity
A key breakthrough from dysfunctional brain patterns is realizing you are not your thoughts. Creating distance from your thoughts helps. Consequently, meditation and many spiritual practices aid in this realization. Pay attention to the thoughts you place after the profound two words of “I AM.”
Notice the difference between “I am overwhelmed” and “I feel overwhelmed.” A feeling comes and goes. “I am” is a permanent concept.
You are not your thoughts, and please do not let them define who you are. You can choose to focus on and amplify a thought or challenge it. From faith practice, I see you as an individualized expression of spiritual energy WITH thoughts, beliefs, emotions, a past, and future that you can define.
I like to practice, cement, and reinforce this thought: “I am lovable, capable, and resilient.”
Attend to Your Well-Being
Changed behaviors impact thoughts about ourselves. When you practice basic self-care habits, you reinforce your worthiness. So, eat, sleep, and exercise well. Find emotionally safe people to fulfill your social needs. We are healthier when we have caring relationships. Have connected time and quiet time, breathe into your belly, do a body scan at bedtime, brush your teeth, and get at least 6 hugs a day.
Seek Professional Self-talk Interventions
There is no shame in seeking professional help. Indeed, for many people, it is a shame they don’t seek professional, informed, and skilled help.
The right-fit therapy provides emotionally safe exploration of the root causes of your negative self-talk, identifies patterns, provides trauma healing, and helps establish healthy coping strategies. We all benefit from a safe, non-judgmental space where we can freely express our thoughts and feelings. This is where honest self-reflection can support us in addressing our brainwashed minds without fear of criticism. Experienced therapists have a menu of helpful self-talk interventions.
Conclusion
Tackling the impact of childhood trauma requires courage, self-reflection, and a commitment to changing ingrained patterns. By acknowledging the brainwashing effect of negative self-talk and putting in place negative self-talk strategies, you will move toward improved mental well-being.
