Single Parent: 10 Powerful Tips from a Solo Mom

Although being a single parent can be rewarding or a relief from an unfulfilling or unhappy relationship, it often has significant challenges. Challenges can include financial constraints as well as time management, needing to juggle work, parenting, and other responsibilities all at once.  Social isolation can create feeling of cut-off from  peers due to the lack of a partner to share the parenting responsibilities.

Single parents may experience an increased amount of stress due to the responsibility of raising a child or children alone. Add guilt for not being able to provide the same benefits as children of two–parent families. Here is a little more detail about seven key distresses of being a single parent

1. Financial Strain: Single parents often bear the sole responsibility for the financial well-being of their families.
2. Time Management:  Managing work, parenting, and personal time can be difficult for single parents. Juggling multiple responsibilities and finding time for self-care can be a constant challenge.
3. Emotional Stress: Single parents may experience feelings of loneliness, stress, and emotional exhaustion. The absence of a co-parent to share responsibilities and emotional support can take a toll.
4. Limited Support System: Single parents may have a smaller support network compared to those with a co-parent. Relying on friends, family, or other support systems becomes crucial, but it might not always be readily available.
5. Parenting Alone: Single parents have to make important decisions and handle all aspects of parenting on their own. This includes discipline, guidance, and providing emotional support, which can be challenging without a partner.
6. Social Stigma: Single parents may face societal judgments and stereotypes, which can contribute to feelings of isolation and inadequacy. Overcoming these societal pressures and maintaining a positive self-image can be challenging.
7. Limited Personal Time: Single parents often have little time for themselves. Between work and parenting responsibilities, finding time for personal interests, hobbies, or simply relaxing can be a significant challenge.

Here are some ideas to assist from my friend, Leane Riley. She wants you to know, “I might be a solo parent but I don’t have to do it all alone.”

1. Remember that Super Mom or Super Dad is not even a comic book character!
2. Be open with your children.  Tell them the truth or a childlike version of it.  Children sense everything but they don’t always know the questions to ask.
3. Remind children that you are human and have needs too.  “You like going to the park, I like getting my nails done.”
4. Insist that children contribute.  When they say, “It’s not fair!” let them know that life isn’t always fair for you either.  “It’s not fair that I have to do everything when there are two other pairs of hands and legs in the house.”
5. Remember, you are the shining example of how a successful woman behaves and what kind of response she accepts from others, including men.
6. Provide routine that children can count on.
7. During a job interview, find a way to mention your family.  That way, there are no surprises.  You also get a chance to learn more about your boss, the organization and their values.  This provides you with more personal power!  Choose a family-friendly organization.
8. Single moms have little downtime.  Let your car or bus be your wind-down time.  Sit in your car at a park or somewhere private between work and child-care pickup.  Listen to music, have your coffee or be with your thoughts and decisions.  Arrange for girlfriend phone chats after the children are in bed.  Plan meals as a stress reliever.  If cooking is a chore, have sporadic cereal nights.
9. Have a portrait taken of your new family.  The depth that picture will have is priceless.  Leane says that the picture of her and her two girls still sits on a shelf fixed between two angels.  “It constantly serves as a reminder that I survived, had happy times and that difficult times can change for the better.  That portrait still brings tears to my eyes.  I am so proud of us all!”
10.  Don’t try to be all to your children.  Remember, it takes a village to raise a child.

Note: This is an excerpt from Patricia Morgan’s book, From Woe to WOW: How Resilient Women Succeed at Work

Lastly, here is a Canadian website with resources for single parents called One Parent.

Please check out these related posts:

• Use Family Meetings to Fuel Love and Communication
• How Much is Enough?  Everything You Need to Know to Steer Clear of Overindulgence and Raise Likable, Responsible and Respectful Children by Jean Illsley Clarke
• How to Resign from ‘Making’ Happy Children