Most of us have had our resiliency challenged when we feel resentment for hurtful behavior by others. Perhaps equally as painful is longing for others to forgive our transgressions. Then we are stuck. Those who are wise tell us that our emotional freedom rests in putting forgiveness into action–for ourselves and others! But how? […]
Too often one adult declares that another adult is being abusive. Before you decide you are in a bullying or abusive relationship and call the Abuse Police, get a handle on what is really happening. OK? Abuse is mistreatment, by any other person or persons, that violates a person’s human and civil rights. Children […]
You can only do your best with your fifty percent of the conversation. There is no guarantee how the other person is going to respond or react.
It was a marvellous question! Following a presentation at a women’s conference, a participant asked me, “How do I find a mentor?” Who or What is a Mentor? The Oxford dictionary describes a mentor as an experienced and trusted adviser. A mentor is someone you admire, have confidence in, feel safe around, have ‘studied’ (perhaps read their […]
Drama Triangle–The model describes three unconscious and habitual behavioral habits as “roles” which people often play in relationships.
The Empowerment Triangle: There are three healthy alternatives to playing victim, persecutor or rescuer from the Drama Triangle. They are the creator, the challenger and the coach.
Have you ever been involved in an email message bushfire? It starts with one person feeling hurt, dismissed or angry about an email communication. The recipient then reacts with a one up slamming or defensive message. Electronic communication is ripe for communication easily and quickly going sideways. Just look at Susan and Mary’s interchange: Example […]
Daniel Goleman is the author of Emotional Intelligence: why it can matter more than IQ as well as Social Intelligence: A New Science of Human Relationships published in 2006. In Social Intelligence, Goleman describes research that supports the idea that we, humans, are hard-wired for connection. Overview: Related to the topic of social intelligence, Goleman discusses its […]
We flourish when we use our social intelligence to create strong friendships and a social network. I will never forget the day I called my friend, Ria. I was feeling panicked because one of our adult children’s lives had gone down the toilet. She said, “You’re strong. All you need is someone to hold you […]
Almost every week I hear a client or others talk about a relationship they might end. “She drives me crazy! She talks negatively about her life, on and on.” Should you ditch the, so called, negative people in your life? According to motivational guru, Jim Rohn, “You are the average of the five people you […]
The Marriage Hack There is exciting news for long term relationships! Dr. Eli Finkel, a professor of social psychology at Northwestern University, and his colleagues noticed that we have come to expect our spouses to fill roles traditionally filled by platonic friends; relationships such as co-workers, neighbours, and friends. This puts unnecessary pressure, and sometimes […]
Too often we forget that none of us were born to only do. We are not our job titles, company positions or our job descriptions. At home we are more than The Mother or The Father, wife or husband, or daughter or son. Those are merely roles. No matter our work we need spaces in-between […]