Talk2MorePeople by Tony Esteves – Book Summary

Talk2MorePeople

With loneliness acknowledged as its own global pandemic, Tony Esteves’ Talk2MorePeople: Change Your Life by Meeting People provides timely help.

The first time I met, adventurous, fun, and engaging Esteves, I said, “You have exceptional social skills.” In that moment I was not aware that he had travelled the globe collecting stories of meeting new and different people along the way. I also did not know that he sometimes performs as a juggler, a Mirror Man, and in a circus. I did know he was friendly, creative, and engaging!

In 2016, soon after I met Tony, he began the Talk2MorePeople Project challenging himself to meet at least one stranger every day for a year. You can learn more about the project at Talk2MorePeople.com.

Here we explore the highlights of Tony’s well researched, written and helpful book.

Talk2MorePeople Overview

Talk2MorePeople is like a communication and connection bible with a mix of personal vignettes, challenges, exercises, tools, and resources. With a philosophical underpinning of exploration of self, others and the world, Esteves invites a playful and creative curiosity of possibilities. He challenges our routines that edge on boredom, our hours of device gazing, and our excuses to stay isolated, yes even during COVID-19 restrictions.

Esteves invites us out of complacency and into a world of wonder, connection, and mindful perspectives.

Basic Concepts 

Four Mindsets

Four mindsets help open the door to talking to more people.

1. The Child mindset is open with curiosity and spontaneity.
2. The Meditator mindset supports us being present and embracing the potentials of being here now.
3. The Traveller mindset leads us into adventure.
4. The Juggler mindset supports us in the ability to adapt. I see the Juggler mindset as the capacity to demonstrate resilience.

We can intentionally train our brains to focus on these door-opening attitudes. Esteves describes not only the obstacles and benefits to each of these mindsets, but also how to develop them.

LOOKUP

Esteves dedicates a significant portion of his content to a connection-making toolkit titled, LOOKUP.

• L is for Listen. Nuances of effective listening including a discreet strategy called, Talk2MorePeople Listening.
• O is for Overcome Internal Obstacles. Here we discover how to support ourselves when we are out of our comfort zone. One time when I feared being judged by speaking up, I recall my grandmother saying, “Get over yourself.” This section helps you get over yourself, your excuses, and your fear of rejection.
• O is for Open a Dialogue – Six Strategies. Discover how to effectively and authentically ask a question, invite a compliment, offer help, and more.
• K is for Keep (the Conversation) Going. Refine the fine art of conversation and how to repair one that appears to be going sideways.
• U is for Uncomfortable? How to Exit a Conversation. Esteves to the rescue for those awkward moments when this is not the right time, with the right person, or the right topic.
• P is for Play and Improvise. Jump in with spontaneity and a few tips.

The last portion of Talk2MorePeople includes inspiring stories, a mindfulness guide, lists of resources, and the Talk2MorePeople 30-Day Challenge. Take on the challenge if you want to get seriously and playfully committed to expanding your circle of relationships. Esteves even provides a chart system to record your success.

Tony Esteves Quotes

1. “An interaction with just one person has the potential to change the direction of your life!”
2. “At the end of interaction between two strangers, at least one person has something in their brain that was not there before. This could be a simple concept or something elaborate and mind-bending. This is an Information Gift Exchange.”
3. “You don’t need a script to connect with people; you only need to be willing to share the value that is already within you.”
4. “Be that person who offers up that much-needed human connection.”
5. “We need to celebrate our diversity and share with others how similar we are as humans. We can achieve this by talking to one another.”
6. “Allow yourself to be as present, curious, adventurous, adaptable, and spontaneous as feels natural to you. See what happens. Let the mystery of life show you the way.”
7. “Being compassionate means that you communicate what you need, and you don’t give more than you can of yourself.”
8. “It’s natural to assume that everybody cares what you say, do, and feel, but the truth is, for the most part, they don’t. Most people are instinctively wrapped up in their own world, concerns, desires, fears, dreams, insecurities, challenges, and aspirations.”
9. “People worry much more than they should when approaching strangers. But you don’t need to any longer.”
10. “You are helping alleviate the loneliness that millions of people suffer from.”

One Last Quote
This quote is added as it is the only time I have felt thrilled to have my name on a Miscellaneous list (page 182). “Friend and colleague, Patricia Morgan is a resiliency expert and a spunky senior. Patricia is the youngest person in her seventies that I know. Explore her extensive website with resilience resources at SolutionsForResilience.com.” Yeah! You are already here!

If you want to add new connections, a sense of wonder, and surprising possibilities to your future, consider purchasing a copy of Talk2MorePeople; available in eBook (Kindle) or paperback.

Please check out these related poats:

• Four Steps to Make Friends Who are Emotionally Safe
• Return to Center: Simple Strategies to Navigate Distress. .
• Reach Out to those Feeling Lonely: Flatten the Curve